A couple of years ago, someone explained our grant-writing process around here like this, "There is going to be a point on every project when it is nearly done when Dr. DeMars hates all of us. Just don't call her up or talk to her for a while and it will all work out fine and they always get funded in the end."
I am at that hating everyone stage where I have looked at these stupid instructions until my eyes have crossed. I have written 50 pages, thrown out 20 of it, written another 10 and am over the page limit. So, I did the mature thing - I dumped it on Erich and Jessica to revise it while I go off and work on other, more fun projects. At this point, cleaning the bathroom seems like a more fun project. Every time I hear one of those ads on late night TV - *free government money * the government wants to give you money * I understand how Elvis felt when he shot his TV. I have yet to find that agency that is just handing out money. Sadly, they want to know why you need that money, what you are going to do with it, why you think it will work, how it will be spent and everything cited, with footnotes, charts, graphs and letters of support from, if not God, at least six of the twelve apostles, unless you are Jewish in which case they will accept memoranda of agreement but only if signed by both Moses and David. Can you tell I have been working on this grant too much? Now it is Erich and Jessica's problem. Imagine evil scientist laugh here - moo-ha-ha. That is what I would be doing if I wasn't too tired to laugh.
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