Sometimes chance statements can have a profound effect on someone's life, a fact that should cause us to pause and consider our words more often - but that's the topic of another blog.
The chance statement that had a domino effect in my life came from my daughter, Maria, who asked me recently,
"So, now that you are working at a university again, what are you doing to take advantage of it? Are you going to more plays, lectures, taking classes, or are you just working all of the time like you always do?"
I was a bit embarrassed to admit that, while working at one of the premier universities in the world, I was doing pretty much what I had always done, which is using statistical software to analyze data, writing reports and web pages. I had gone to the library my first week on campus and taken out several books since, three-fourths of them on statistics and statistical software.
That same day, I noticed there was going to be a lecture by Sydney Harman on Succeeding in the New Economy, in Business, Work and Life. It sounded interesting and even more to spark my curiosity was the fact that the flyer mentioned that Dr. Harman was the first and only university professor. As we all know, professors are professors OF something - a person is a mathematics professor, a business professor or an English professor. Math professors teach in the math department, engineering professors teach in the School of Engineering and so on. Except, apparently for Dr. Harman who teaches in any school at the university that he feels like it.
I put the lecture on my calendar and several times thought,
"Oh, I'm too busy, I can't go."
Then, I would remember my daughter's question.
One of the first questions addressed in the lecture was the meaning of life. He said that, having been a soldier in World War II, he had experienced at a young age just trying to survive each day. He came to the conclusion that "trying to get through the day is an absolutely dreadful way to live your life and yet, many people wake up each day with that as their only goal".
Sometimes, as in World War II, that attitude may be unavoidable. Probably there are times in everyone's life when it is understandable feeling that just making it through the next twenty-four hours is enough. When I look back on the fog I was in after my husband died, I am sure it was one of those times for me.
I hate to admit, though, that much of my time since has been no more focused than checking off items on today's to-do list. Probably half of the reason I went to that lecture is that it was in my Corporate Time calendar for 12:30.
Does this sound like you?
"I'm a busy person. I work. I have a child I need to make sure has her homework done, lunch packed, gets to school, clean clothes, volleyball practice, books in her backpack. Dishes need washing. Paperwork needs to get done, bills paid..."
Where is the time to stop and think about why I am doing all of this? Do I really need to work as many hours as I do? What do I get out of teaching an extra course or taking another consulting contract? Is it something I really want to do that leads toward my life's goals? Is it consistent with my values? Or am I just doing it out of habit because I never say "no" to extra work. What the heck are my life's goals, anyway?
Another interesting comment that Dr. Harman made was in response to how did he become the person he is. Like Barack Obama, did he attribute the successes he had to the influence of his grandmother.
He gave two answers to this.
First, he said that the people he had really admired over his life made a career of inventing themselves. Those people gave serious thought on a regular basis to the type of person they wanted to be and the life they wanted to live. To decide who you want to be, he said, you need to begin by deciding what you really believe.
Second, he said that people can affect your lives purely by chance. He gave the example of his neighbor who was a person he sincerely admired and respected. This neighbor happened to be the attorney for Dr. Martin Luther King and through him, Dr. Harman met and got to know King and became very involved in the civil rights movement.
A point that struck me out of this last answer, is that we ought to be a bit selective in the people with whom we associate. How much time do you spend with people who ask you questions like,
"What are you doing to take advantage of the cultural and intellectual opportunities at the university?"
Speaking of the university, one of my favorite people on the faculty invited me to lunch recently. As we were finishing our coffee, she leaned across the table and asked me very seriously,
"If you could invent your own job, do anything you wanted, what would you be doing?"
As with Maria's question, I was really taken aback because I felt that I should have a much more satisfactory answer than the truth, which was, "I haven't really thought about it."
You see, I had been so busy, just getting through the day, getting my work done, paying my bills, going to the bank, stopping by the post office....
I think I have an answer for her, though. If I could be doing anything I wanted I would be doing what I am doing right this minute. Thinking about the meaning of life.
The chance statement that had a domino effect in my life came from my daughter, Maria, who asked me recently,
"So, now that you are working at a university again, what are you doing to take advantage of it? Are you going to more plays, lectures, taking classes, or are you just working all of the time like you always do?"
I was a bit embarrassed to admit that, while working at one of the premier universities in the world, I was doing pretty much what I had always done, which is using statistical software to analyze data, writing reports and web pages. I had gone to the library my first week on campus and taken out several books since, three-fourths of them on statistics and statistical software.
That same day, I noticed there was going to be a lecture by Sydney Harman on Succeeding in the New Economy, in Business, Work and Life. It sounded interesting and even more to spark my curiosity was the fact that the flyer mentioned that Dr. Harman was the first and only university professor. As we all know, professors are professors OF something - a person is a mathematics professor, a business professor or an English professor. Math professors teach in the math department, engineering professors teach in the School of Engineering and so on. Except, apparently for Dr. Harman who teaches in any school at the university that he feels like it.
I put the lecture on my calendar and several times thought,
"Oh, I'm too busy, I can't go."
Then, I would remember my daughter's question.
One of the first questions addressed in the lecture was the meaning of life. He said that, having been a soldier in World War II, he had experienced at a young age just trying to survive each day. He came to the conclusion that "trying to get through the day is an absolutely dreadful way to live your life and yet, many people wake up each day with that as their only goal".
Sometimes, as in World War II, that attitude may be unavoidable. Probably there are times in everyone's life when it is understandable feeling that just making it through the next twenty-four hours is enough. When I look back on the fog I was in after my husband died, I am sure it was one of those times for me.
I hate to admit, though, that much of my time since has been no more focused than checking off items on today's to-do list. Probably half of the reason I went to that lecture is that it was in my Corporate Time calendar for 12:30.
Does this sound like you?
"I'm a busy person. I work. I have a child I need to make sure has her homework done, lunch packed, gets to school, clean clothes, volleyball practice, books in her backpack. Dishes need washing. Paperwork needs to get done, bills paid..."
Where is the time to stop and think about why I am doing all of this? Do I really need to work as many hours as I do? What do I get out of teaching an extra course or taking another consulting contract? Is it something I really want to do that leads toward my life's goals? Is it consistent with my values? Or am I just doing it out of habit because I never say "no" to extra work. What the heck are my life's goals, anyway?
Another interesting comment that Dr. Harman made was in response to how did he become the person he is. Like Barack Obama, did he attribute the successes he had to the influence of his grandmother.
He gave two answers to this.
First, he said that the people he had really admired over his life made a career of inventing themselves. Those people gave serious thought on a regular basis to the type of person they wanted to be and the life they wanted to live. To decide who you want to be, he said, you need to begin by deciding what you really believe.
Second, he said that people can affect your lives purely by chance. He gave the example of his neighbor who was a person he sincerely admired and respected. This neighbor happened to be the attorney for Dr. Martin Luther King and through him, Dr. Harman met and got to know King and became very involved in the civil rights movement.
A point that struck me out of this last answer, is that we ought to be a bit selective in the people with whom we associate. How much time do you spend with people who ask you questions like,
"What are you doing to take advantage of the cultural and intellectual opportunities at the university?"
Speaking of the university, one of my favorite people on the faculty invited me to lunch recently. As we were finishing our coffee, she leaned across the table and asked me very seriously,
"If you could invent your own job, do anything you wanted, what would you be doing?"
As with Maria's question, I was really taken aback because I felt that I should have a much more satisfactory answer than the truth, which was, "I haven't really thought about it."
You see, I had been so busy, just getting through the day, getting my work done, paying my bills, going to the bank, stopping by the post office....
I think I have an answer for her, though. If I could be doing anything I wanted I would be doing what I am doing right this minute. Thinking about the meaning of life.
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