Erich and I were discussing the loss of the value of courage in modern America. Part of this may be due to a failure of honesty, to call people out for a lack of courage. Here is a true story with details changed to protect the cowardly,
Recently, I was involved in the attempt to replace one board with another. The board had done the worst of all of the problems discussed in the Tribal Leaders Institute, spent funds intended for programs on their own salaries and travel, and not just a little bit but hundreds of thousands of dollars. They had board members who had embezzled money, sexually harassed employees, been abusive to clients and employees. For years, employees had been complaining with no one listening. Sam, a former employee, known for his competence and ethical values, was one of the loudest critics. A number of courageous individuals spent hours documenting all this misuse of funds and abuse. When they went to Sam and stated that they were ready to approach the funding agency with their formal complaint he said,
"You know, Sam, you need to man up. If these people don't have the courage to stand up for themselves, why should anyone stand up for them?"
He stared at me, a little shocked that I would say that, and said,
I told him,
"No, I don't need to understand. It is like that old joke about the man who asked a woman who would sleep with him for a million dollars. When she said yes, he asked her, 'How about for twenty bucks?' She said, 'What do you think I am, a whore?' and he answered, 'We've already established that, now we are negotiating price.'
You're like that. You and your colleagues only have courage when it doesn't cost you anything. That's not courage."
Erich suggested that the value of courage has declined since the days of the "Old West" and that maybe that is because we no longer call out people for lack of courage. We say things like, 'Joe is indecisive' instead of 'Joe is too cowardly to make a decision.'
He told this story from the movie, The Outlaw Josie Wales,
"Josie is face to face with a man who is hunting him and he says, 'You know, you don't have to do this. You could just walk out the door and pretend you never saw me.' He walked out the door, and then, a little while later, he came back in and he said, 'You know, I DO have to do this.' Josie said, 'I know.' And they drew guns and Josie killed him. That's how it was back then. Having courage was important. It was preferable to die than to live being known as a coward."
Now, somehow it is acceptable to be known as a coward. We say things like, 'You just don't understand politics' or 'You just don't understand business.' or 'I don't deal in right and wrong, I'm a lawyer.'
Here is what I say. All of those are excuses for a failure to show courage to do what is right. Yes, it might cost you. It might cost you votes. It might cost you business. You might lose a lawsuit. If you only show courage when it has no cost then you really are a coward and you are just negotiating price.
Recently, I was involved in the attempt to replace one board with another. The board had done the worst of all of the problems discussed in the Tribal Leaders Institute, spent funds intended for programs on their own salaries and travel, and not just a little bit but hundreds of thousands of dollars. They had board members who had embezzled money, sexually harassed employees, been abusive to clients and employees. For years, employees had been complaining with no one listening. Sam, a former employee, known for his competence and ethical values, was one of the loudest critics. A number of courageous individuals spent hours documenting all this misuse of funds and abuse. When they went to Sam and stated that they were ready to approach the funding agency with their formal complaint he said,
"Well, I don't know if that is such a good idea. There could be negative repercussions for those people who sign letters of complaint."
I was stunned for a minute and then said, slowly,
"You know, Sam, you need to man up. If these people don't have the courage to stand up for themselves, why should anyone stand up for them?"
He stared at me, a little shocked that I would say that, and said,
"You need to understand business. This is these people's livelihoods."
I told him,
"No, I don't need to understand. It is like that old joke about the man who asked a woman who would sleep with him for a million dollars. When she said yes, he asked her, 'How about for twenty bucks?' She said, 'What do you think I am, a whore?' and he answered, 'We've already established that, now we are negotiating price.'
You're like that. You and your colleagues only have courage when it doesn't cost you anything. That's not courage."
Erich suggested that the value of courage has declined since the days of the "Old West" and that maybe that is because we no longer call out people for lack of courage. We say things like, 'Joe is indecisive' instead of 'Joe is too cowardly to make a decision.'
He told this story from the movie, The Outlaw Josie Wales,
"Josie is face to face with a man who is hunting him and he says, 'You know, you don't have to do this. You could just walk out the door and pretend you never saw me.' He walked out the door, and then, a little while later, he came back in and he said, 'You know, I DO have to do this.' Josie said, 'I know.' And they drew guns and Josie killed him. That's how it was back then. Having courage was important. It was preferable to die than to live being known as a coward."
Now, somehow it is acceptable to be known as a coward. We say things like, 'You just don't understand politics' or 'You just don't understand business.' or 'I don't deal in right and wrong, I'm a lawyer.'
Here is what I say. All of those are excuses for a failure to show courage to do what is right. Yes, it might cost you. It might cost you votes. It might cost you business. You might lose a lawsuit. If you only show courage when it has no cost then you really are a coward and you are just negotiating price.
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