Indians are more generous than most people. I am sure this statement will lead conservative Republicans to call me a racist and damage (but not eliminate) my chances of being confirmed on the supreme court.
I state this based on 19 years of personal experience working on reservations. Maybe there are some really mean, miserly tribes out there and I have just never met any of their members. Having met hundreds of people from the Great Plains tribes, though, I have to say that they are more likely to invite you to their home, a party, give you a gift with no expectation of return.
Everyone from Mark Twain to Spirit Lake Consulting President, Dr. Erich Longie, has commented on how moral courage is much less common than physical courage.
I think there is also such a thing as physical generosity and moral generosity (some people call this generosity of the spirit). Just like with courage, I think the physical kind is more common. After a lot of reflection on my experiences over the past two decades, I concluded that moral generosity is more common on the reservations, too, but still not nearly enough. As far as in the rest of society, outside of nuns and a few philosophers, it seems pretty darn hard to find.
For example, I attended my cousin Mike's wedding a few weeks ago. I noticed my niece, Wendy in a pretty dress with a nearly bald head. At first, I thought this was a new,odd fashion. At the reception, my sister asked,
She explained that there was a fund-raiser for children with cancer at her school (Wendy teaches high school English) and she auctioned off shaving her head if the students donated a certain amount of money. They raised over $2,000 and Wendy came through on her part of the bargain.
I am very proud to know her. Here she demonstrates both generosity and honesty. She is modeling ethical behavior for her students. Good for her!
During the wedding, I heard lots of comments about how "stupid" Wendy was that she would shave her head for some people she didn't know, how it was ridiculous to shave your head and come to a wedding looking like that for a mere two thousand dollars, how naive she was to believe that a couple thousand dollars would make any difference in curing cancer, and on and on.
What every one of these people seemed unable to do was to appreciate the generosity and honesty of what Wendy did and GIVE her, generously, their whole-hearted approval.
Lest you think that I just have a bunch of mean relatives, let me add that this sort of experience happens ALL THE TIME. To give another example, I am on the Board of Directors of a non-profit organization. We have hundreds of volunteers. Each one of them gives of his or her time, talents and money. Constantly, I hear criticism from people who don't volunteer at all, something like this:
I am not saying that this type of "stinginess in spirt" doesn't happen on the reservations where I have been, but it happens far less often. One good example of this was Erich's graduation party. He was the first member of the Spirit Lake Nation to earn a doctorate. At the time, April, Erich and I were partners in Spirit Lake Consulting. April called me and said she wanted the company to host a party, commission a special star quilt for Erich and give it to him at the party. This was a great idea, I agreed, but the truth is, we had a lot of business at the time, the company was growing and I just did not take five minutes to think that it was a momentous occasion we should make a real effort to recognize - but April did, and she wasn't any less busy than me.
At the party, Erich made a point to emphasize that although he was the first enrolled member of the tribe to earn his doctorate that there were two other individuals who, while enrolled in other tribes, had grown up on the reservation and earned Ph.D., and one of them, Dr. Russ McDonald, was sitting right there, and pointed him out. This is a sharing of honors that I don't see people do that often. Erich felt an unfairness that Russell hadn't been recognized for his accomplishment and wanted to honor him as well.
I have known Erich for a long time, and heard a lot of stories about him from a long time before that, what some refer to as "his Dukes of Hazzard days". Believe me, he has a lot more to be criticized about, than my niece, Wendy. Yet, out of a hundred people in the room, one or two mentioned, "Well, he wasn't really the first to get a doctorate because there were those other two who weren't enrolled in the tribe...." or "Funny to see him getting a doctorate, I remember when he was ..."
Still, the other 98 people or so were genuinely, whole-heartedly (there's that word again), happy for him and proud that he graduated. I must have seen a dozen parents or grandparents poke one of the children or teenagers in attendance and say,
"See that? You're going to be the next doctor from this tribe."
Another dozen people got up and spoke, some with tears in their eyes, each telling Erich how proud they were of him.
My point, and I do have one (in fact, two):
I state this based on 19 years of personal experience working on reservations. Maybe there are some really mean, miserly tribes out there and I have just never met any of their members. Having met hundreds of people from the Great Plains tribes, though, I have to say that they are more likely to invite you to their home, a party, give you a gift with no expectation of return.
Everyone from Mark Twain to Spirit Lake Consulting President, Dr. Erich Longie, has commented on how moral courage is much less common than physical courage.
I think there is also such a thing as physical generosity and moral generosity (some people call this generosity of the spirit). Just like with courage, I think the physical kind is more common. After a lot of reflection on my experiences over the past two decades, I concluded that moral generosity is more common on the reservations, too, but still not nearly enough. As far as in the rest of society, outside of nuns and a few philosophers, it seems pretty darn hard to find.
For example, I attended my cousin Mike's wedding a few weeks ago. I noticed my niece, Wendy in a pretty dress with a nearly bald head. At first, I thought this was a new,odd fashion. At the reception, my sister asked,
"So, do you like your hair that short?"My niece replied,
"I hate it!"Curious, I asked,
"Well, why did you cut it that short, then?"
She explained that there was a fund-raiser for children with cancer at her school (Wendy teaches high school English) and she auctioned off shaving her head if the students donated a certain amount of money. They raised over $2,000 and Wendy came through on her part of the bargain.
I am very proud to know her. Here she demonstrates both generosity and honesty. She is modeling ethical behavior for her students. Good for her!
During the wedding, I heard lots of comments about how "stupid" Wendy was that she would shave her head for some people she didn't know, how it was ridiculous to shave your head and come to a wedding looking like that for a mere two thousand dollars, how naive she was to believe that a couple thousand dollars would make any difference in curing cancer, and on and on.
What every one of these people seemed unable to do was to appreciate the generosity and honesty of what Wendy did and GIVE her, generously, their whole-hearted approval.
Lest you think that I just have a bunch of mean relatives, let me add that this sort of experience happens ALL THE TIME. To give another example, I am on the Board of Directors of a non-profit organization. We have hundreds of volunteers. Each one of them gives of his or her time, talents and money. Constantly, I hear criticism from people who don't volunteer at all, something like this:
Complainer of the Day: "You know Susie that you think is so great?"This sort of event is not an unusual occurrence. It happens to me just about every day. Rather than being appreciative of the generous people donating their resources, these members of our organization (and many people who aren't even members) feel the need to tear people down. A very wise woman I knew years ago suggested to me that when a person said something like this to me I should confront them and say,
Me: "You mean Susie Sainte who edits our monthly magazine for free? The one who recruited an artist to design the cover and found three volunteers to write monthly columns for us?"
COTD: "Yes, that one. Well, you know in her biography that appears in the box on the inside cover of the magazine, where it says that she attended Yale University? Well, I just thought you'd like to know that she never graduated! I graduated from Yale and I checked with the alumni association and she attended for three years and then transferred to another school and graduated from there."
Me: "She doesn't say she graduated from Yale. What's your point?"
COTD: "Well, I just thought you would want to know, that's all. I mean, it suggests that she graduated from Yale and she didn't. I think maybe you should add in that box 'but didn't graduate from there.' "
"Really, why are you telling me this?"
I am not saying that this type of "stinginess in spirt" doesn't happen on the reservations where I have been, but it happens far less often. One good example of this was Erich's graduation party. He was the first member of the Spirit Lake Nation to earn a doctorate. At the time, April, Erich and I were partners in Spirit Lake Consulting. April called me and said she wanted the company to host a party, commission a special star quilt for Erich and give it to him at the party. This was a great idea, I agreed, but the truth is, we had a lot of business at the time, the company was growing and I just did not take five minutes to think that it was a momentous occasion we should make a real effort to recognize - but April did, and she wasn't any less busy than me.
At the party, Erich made a point to emphasize that although he was the first enrolled member of the tribe to earn his doctorate that there were two other individuals who, while enrolled in other tribes, had grown up on the reservation and earned Ph.D., and one of them, Dr. Russ McDonald, was sitting right there, and pointed him out. This is a sharing of honors that I don't see people do that often. Erich felt an unfairness that Russell hadn't been recognized for his accomplishment and wanted to honor him as well.
I have known Erich for a long time, and heard a lot of stories about him from a long time before that, what some refer to as "his Dukes of Hazzard days". Believe me, he has a lot more to be criticized about, than my niece, Wendy. Yet, out of a hundred people in the room, one or two mentioned, "Well, he wasn't really the first to get a doctorate because there were those other two who weren't enrolled in the tribe...." or "Funny to see him getting a doctorate, I remember when he was ..."
Still, the other 98 people or so were genuinely, whole-heartedly (there's that word again), happy for him and proud that he graduated. I must have seen a dozen parents or grandparents poke one of the children or teenagers in attendance and say,
"See that? You're going to be the next doctor from this tribe."
Another dozen people got up and spoke, some with tears in their eyes, each telling Erich how proud they were of him.
My point, and I do have one (in fact, two):
- Generosity of spirit is less common than generosity with stuff,
- Both kinds of generosity are still more common on the reservations.
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