I read a really interesting book by Maya Angelou, Letters to My Daughter, in which she mentioned talking to people who lived in the American south back when their were "Jim Crow" laws, when black people were forbidden by law to sit in the same waiting room, drink from the same fountain, attend the same schools as white people, when black people were being lynched and on and on.
She asked people the question that I have always wondered about,
"What were you thinking?"
How on earth could all of these people have watched the police arresting people for sitting at a diner, turn dogs and firehoses on people who had really done nothing wrong. The answers she got were fascinating to me because I do believe that her white friends told Ms. Angelou the truth:
She makes a comment that sums up exactly how I feel,
Erich and I discuss that a lot, in fact, he even did a podcast on it. Erich thinks that whatever is the most important value depends on the situation. While there is some truth to that, I do think that lack of courage is what stops most people from acting in unethical situations. Especially in the 1950's and 1960's when American views on race relations were changing, there must have been a lot of white people who said to themselves, as did the person answering Dr. Angelou, "This is wrong," but did nothing.
I think it is a combination of two things, really. Often, I find myself so caught up in the little things of daily life, washing the dishes, paying the bills, getting my daughter to do her homework, getting the website fixed, answering email and by the end of it I look up and realize that women in Afghanistan were having their fingers cut off for voting while I was worried about cleaning out the backseat of my car or documenting a computer program. The other reason people don't take action is that they don't believe it will matter AND they are afraid. If they were just afraid, then they might do something, but feeling afraid and powerless at the same time is a lethal combination. So, they just give up and accept, "That's the way it is."
Well, I'm NOT giving up. Maybe that's the way it is but it doesn't HAVE to be that way. The first step in making a change is just lifting your head up and noticing that something is wrong. The second step is in determining to do whatever you can to change it, even if it is only a small part, speaking up, making one more person notice what is wrong, making one official uncomfortable, stopping a child from believing it has to be this way when they are an adult. In the end, all of those changes add up and tip the other direction.
Just don't give up before you start.
She asked people the question that I have always wondered about,
"What were you thinking?"
How on earth could all of these people have watched the police arresting people for sitting at a diner, turn dogs and firehoses on people who had really done nothing wrong. The answers she got were fascinating to me because I do believe that her white friends told Ms. Angelou the truth:
"I never really thought about it. It had always been that way."
"Well, sure, I thought it was wrong, but I didn't see how you could ever change it."
She makes a comment that sums up exactly how I feel,
"Their responses confirmed my belief that courage is the most important of all the virtues."
Erich and I discuss that a lot, in fact, he even did a podcast on it. Erich thinks that whatever is the most important value depends on the situation. While there is some truth to that, I do think that lack of courage is what stops most people from acting in unethical situations. Especially in the 1950's and 1960's when American views on race relations were changing, there must have been a lot of white people who said to themselves, as did the person answering Dr. Angelou, "This is wrong," but did nothing.
I think it is a combination of two things, really. Often, I find myself so caught up in the little things of daily life, washing the dishes, paying the bills, getting my daughter to do her homework, getting the website fixed, answering email and by the end of it I look up and realize that women in Afghanistan were having their fingers cut off for voting while I was worried about cleaning out the backseat of my car or documenting a computer program. The other reason people don't take action is that they don't believe it will matter AND they are afraid. If they were just afraid, then they might do something, but feeling afraid and powerless at the same time is a lethal combination. So, they just give up and accept, "That's the way it is."
Well, I'm NOT giving up. Maybe that's the way it is but it doesn't HAVE to be that way. The first step in making a change is just lifting your head up and noticing that something is wrong. The second step is in determining to do whatever you can to change it, even if it is only a small part, speaking up, making one more person notice what is wrong, making one official uncomfortable, stopping a child from believing it has to be this way when they are an adult. In the end, all of those changes add up and tip the other direction.
Just don't give up before you start.
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