Years ago, I taught a course on conflict resolution and the opening assignment was the lamp problem. In short, you have a conflict. You want to buy a blue lamp for your living room and your wife wants a pink one. The task for the students is to come up with as many solutions as possible for this conflict. Most people can think of two off the top of their head, that is, you get your way or your wife gets hers. A few creative people came up with three to five. For example, buy a lamp with pink and blue stripes. The book we used for the course had over twenty solutions. Some were pretty outrageous but they WOULD resolve the conflict.
One was,
The author pointed out that, while these seem pretty ridiculous, that in business situations, sometimes we get so caught up in winning that we do the equivalent of killing our spouse over what color lamp to buy.
Recently, I ran for the board of a non-profit organization. I had been on the board for a while and, I think, done a pretty good job. In the course of the election, a lot of very hateful, untrue things were said about me and my opponents engaged in some very unethical behavior. I was tempted to retaliate in kind when Erich pointed out to me,
I realized that he was right, It was an organization to which I donated my time and services. Many people had benefited over the past few years and nothing would change that fact . If my opponents were able to win the election because they did some very unethical things, that would be unfortunate. However, I realized that acting the opposite of beliefs in honesty and integrity that I had held for a lifetime just to have a seat on some board would be like killing my husband so I could get the pink lamp.
Next week, we'll know who won the election. If it is me and my supporters, fine. If not, I will find another organization to which I can donate volunteer time, and maybe have some more free time for myself as well. One less I remembered, just in time, was from Carly Fiorina, former head of Hewlett-Packard
Once you sell your soul, no one can ever buy it back for you.
One was,
"Kill your wife. Bury her in the backyard. Then buy whatever damn color lamp you want."Another was,
"Divorce her. You probably disagree on other things, too, right?"A third was,
"Don't buy a lamp. Sit in the dark."
The author pointed out that, while these seem pretty ridiculous, that in business situations, sometimes we get so caught up in winning that we do the equivalent of killing our spouse over what color lamp to buy.
Recently, I ran for the board of a non-profit organization. I had been on the board for a while and, I think, done a pretty good job. In the course of the election, a lot of very hateful, untrue things were said about me and my opponents engaged in some very unethical behavior. I was tempted to retaliate in kind when Erich pointed out to me,
"No disrespect intended, here, but you're just talking about some board."
I realized that he was right, It was an organization to which I donated my time and services. Many people had benefited over the past few years and nothing would change that fact . If my opponents were able to win the election because they did some very unethical things, that would be unfortunate. However, I realized that acting the opposite of beliefs in honesty and integrity that I had held for a lifetime just to have a seat on some board would be like killing my husband so I could get the pink lamp.
Next week, we'll know who won the election. If it is me and my supporters, fine. If not, I will find another organization to which I can donate volunteer time, and maybe have some more free time for myself as well. One less I remembered, just in time, was from Carly Fiorina, former head of Hewlett-Packard
Once you sell your soul, no one can ever buy it back for you.
Leave a comment