Erich (Dr. Longie) talks a lot about traditional ethical values of persistence, courage, honesty and generosity. To be honest, sometimes I get tired of hearing about it. Yes, it is important not too give up when the going gets tough, blah blah blah. I know how my children feel when I give them a variation of the same lecture for the thousandth time. I know why Erich does it. It's the same reason I do it, the same reason my grandmother did it to me. Certain lessons are so IMPORTANT that we want to make sure they are learned. Ten years after my grandmother died, I still hear a lot of her words in my head, and that's a good thing.
Whether it was your mother, your grandmother, a teacher, a coach, there are those people who drilled values into your head, who taught you courage, honesty, strength, humility, generosity and other lessons that usually come back to you when you need them most of all - and honey, are you ever going to need them as a new board member!
Persistence - strength - fortitude - whatever you call it, you are going to need a lot of it. I'm going to assume that you ran for the board for the right reasons. You want to make changes, for the better, not just have your name on the letterhead. Congratulations. There's a nice line from a song
"Every beginning is another beginning's end."
Your beginning as a board member means the end of someone else's term. Before your first board meeeting, just by getting elected to the board you made some people mad at you. The people who lost, for a start. And all of their friends. And their relatives (the relatives that like them and even some of the relatives that don't like them. You might have beaten Joe and he might be lying, cheating, woman-chasing deadbeat but he's still Uncle Joe.) If other people were on the board and they lost their positions to you, they really hate you, most likely.
When you come up with a new idea, whether it is a new name for a sports team, a proposal for a federal grant, a new building - no matter what, no matter how wonderful, there will be people against it, some of them viciously personal about it. Sometimes this is because it affects them personally. If you raise money for a brand new building, whoever was getting rent, fixing the plumbing that always broke or in any other way profiting from your program being in the old, run-down building will be against it.
They never say it that way, though, because no one would be too sympathetic to Joe if he said,
"If we move out of the old building I lose the $1,000 I get twice a year fixing the furnace when it breaks."
No, instead he says,
"Susie wants us to move out of the old building because she has no respect for our history and traditions. If I was elected, I would be preserving the worthwhile heritage that we have instead of throwing it all out like it was of no value."
.... and the next thing you know, Joe's supporters are handing out flyers with your picture and a nuclear bomb landing on a herd of buffalo while you are shaking your head wondering how anyone can be against a new building for the kids.
You need to be persistent. You will have to tell 80 people that no, you are not against history, culture and tradition. You will need to explain calmly the reasons why a building that is warm, with a roof that doesn't leak and a furnace that works is better than a cold, drafty, leaky building. And you will have to do it without losing your temper. All this time, you will need to keep up your fortitude to keep working on the fundraising for the new building, meeting with the architect, the parents on the planning committee.
There isn't any secret that I know to make this easier. It is hard work being a good board member and it will be as long as you stay on the board and do a good job.
Resist the urge to spread false information about those who disagree with you. Remember that other value, honesty. Unless it is relevant, resist the urge to spread even true negative information. So what if Joe was passed out in the corner of a bar last night. Maybe he was just tired. (Remember that other value, generosity.)
One tip I can give is to maintain a sense of humor. Some days the attacks on you will be so far from the truth that you laugh because your only other choice is to cry. A friend of mine used to be exceedingly polite to those who disagreed with him in the most outrageous ways.
Jake would say,
"I understand how a person could have your opinion... "
and always added silently to himself ,
"... it's because he is a complete f###ing moron."
At one particularly heated meeting, almost all of the board members adopted his strategy, so when one after another of Joe's friends got up and yelled and swore about how wrong the changes we had made, to the great amusement of the rest of the board, board member who responded sweetly began,
"Now, I understand how a person could have your opinion, but ..."
Be persistent, be honest, be generous, be courageous and laugh a little. Some days it may seem like your two or four-year term will never end, but never, never, never give up. That's persistence.
Whether it was your mother, your grandmother, a teacher, a coach, there are those people who drilled values into your head, who taught you courage, honesty, strength, humility, generosity and other lessons that usually come back to you when you need them most of all - and honey, are you ever going to need them as a new board member!
Persistence - strength - fortitude - whatever you call it, you are going to need a lot of it. I'm going to assume that you ran for the board for the right reasons. You want to make changes, for the better, not just have your name on the letterhead. Congratulations. There's a nice line from a song
"Every beginning is another beginning's end."
Your beginning as a board member means the end of someone else's term. Before your first board meeeting, just by getting elected to the board you made some people mad at you. The people who lost, for a start. And all of their friends. And their relatives (the relatives that like them and even some of the relatives that don't like them. You might have beaten Joe and he might be lying, cheating, woman-chasing deadbeat but he's still Uncle Joe.) If other people were on the board and they lost their positions to you, they really hate you, most likely.
When you come up with a new idea, whether it is a new name for a sports team, a proposal for a federal grant, a new building - no matter what, no matter how wonderful, there will be people against it, some of them viciously personal about it. Sometimes this is because it affects them personally. If you raise money for a brand new building, whoever was getting rent, fixing the plumbing that always broke or in any other way profiting from your program being in the old, run-down building will be against it.
They never say it that way, though, because no one would be too sympathetic to Joe if he said,
"If we move out of the old building I lose the $1,000 I get twice a year fixing the furnace when it breaks."
No, instead he says,
"Susie wants us to move out of the old building because she has no respect for our history and traditions. If I was elected, I would be preserving the worthwhile heritage that we have instead of throwing it all out like it was of no value."
.... and the next thing you know, Joe's supporters are handing out flyers with your picture and a nuclear bomb landing on a herd of buffalo while you are shaking your head wondering how anyone can be against a new building for the kids.
You need to be persistent. You will have to tell 80 people that no, you are not against history, culture and tradition. You will need to explain calmly the reasons why a building that is warm, with a roof that doesn't leak and a furnace that works is better than a cold, drafty, leaky building. And you will have to do it without losing your temper. All this time, you will need to keep up your fortitude to keep working on the fundraising for the new building, meeting with the architect, the parents on the planning committee.
There isn't any secret that I know to make this easier. It is hard work being a good board member and it will be as long as you stay on the board and do a good job.
Resist the urge to spread false information about those who disagree with you. Remember that other value, honesty. Unless it is relevant, resist the urge to spread even true negative information. So what if Joe was passed out in the corner of a bar last night. Maybe he was just tired. (Remember that other value, generosity.)
One tip I can give is to maintain a sense of humor. Some days the attacks on you will be so far from the truth that you laugh because your only other choice is to cry. A friend of mine used to be exceedingly polite to those who disagreed with him in the most outrageous ways.
Jake would say,
"I understand how a person could have your opinion... "
and always added silently to himself ,
"... it's because he is a complete f###ing moron."
At one particularly heated meeting, almost all of the board members adopted his strategy, so when one after another of Joe's friends got up and yelled and swore about how wrong the changes we had made, to the great amusement of the rest of the board, board member who responded sweetly began,
"Now, I understand how a person could have your opinion, but ..."
Be persistent, be honest, be generous, be courageous and laugh a little. Some days it may seem like your two or four-year term will never end, but never, never, never give up. That's persistence.
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