While our first two courses focused on courage and honesty, perseverance has seemed to be more and more of an issue in my life lately. Maybe it is because we have now finished our second year of the Tribal Leaders Institute, requiring some perseverance in itself.
Certainly those who are are unethical persevere. Erich and I were discussing this today and he pointed out that people who have an unethical reason to be on a board, whether they are taking a salary, paying a relative, misusing the expense money or just for the ego of it, will fight hard to stay in that position.
In a podcast a year or so ago, What if we succeed?, I asked Erich what would happen if the Tribal Leaders program worked and everything was exactly as he desired. He said,
"We would put aside all the petty fighting that we are doing right now and we would take a place in society that is rightfully ours. Right now, we are kept .... at the bottom of the totem pole because we don't have these values. "
What do you get from living those values - honesty, courage, perseverance and generosity ? If you ever read the Tribal Leaders Forum section on Susie Sainte, you'll see that it doesn't win you prizes every day. Sometimes the Susies of the world are fired, quit, turned down for a promotion, because they refuse to compromise with unethical behavior. Erich has written a number of posts about calling lying what it is , but that doesn't always win you friends. It's callled being "abrasive" or "uncompromising" or "not a team player".
In the long run (and I am old enough to have had a pretty long run), character counts. Erich mentioned having people support him for a position,
"Because they knew from my reputation that I had more integrity than the other person."
Several years ago, Erich and I had worked as partners on a number of grant evaluations, and I was also, on my own, having a lot of success writing grant proposals. A couple of people came to me and told me that I would get more business if I didn't work with Erich, since he had made some political enemies at the time. I just shrugged. Erich and I are friends. He had been a support for me my first year teaching at the tribal college, when my husband died and many times I don't even remember any more. It was an easy decision. If I made $10,000 or so less that year, oh well. In the long run, both Erich and I have made many times that amount. And I have the integrity of a person who does not sell out her friends.
It is not just money. I was thinking of what I might want to do as the next step in my career. My husband said, "Well, what do you like to do the most?"
It occurred to me that what I like to do most is spend time with people I really enjoy and care about. I have a LOT of good relationships, with friends I have known for ten years or more, with my adult children, with my husband. Those relationships are built by perseverance. My children are a journalist, an Olympic athlete, a graduate student at a top university and a middle school student who makes the honor role and is on the student council. As every parent, I have made my share of colossal mistakes. It's not the fact that you screwed up once this week (or today) that is crucial; it is the sum of the thousands of times you put your children first, were honest with them, had the courage to say no, the generosity to give them your time. (Let me add that I have had my days - sometimes years - with each of my children !) It is the perseverance to never give up on them.
That business cliche "at the end of the day" - I hate that. It's not at the end of the day that counts. It's at the end of childhood, career, in the middle of your life, at your 25th anniversary, that's when you can see that ethics wins out.
Certainly those who are are unethical persevere. Erich and I were discussing this today and he pointed out that people who have an unethical reason to be on a board, whether they are taking a salary, paying a relative, misusing the expense money or just for the ego of it, will fight hard to stay in that position.
In a podcast a year or so ago, What if we succeed?, I asked Erich what would happen if the Tribal Leaders program worked and everything was exactly as he desired. He said,
"We would put aside all the petty fighting that we are doing right now and we would take a place in society that is rightfully ours. Right now, we are kept .... at the bottom of the totem pole because we don't have these values. "
What do you get from living those values - honesty, courage, perseverance and generosity ? If you ever read the Tribal Leaders Forum section on Susie Sainte, you'll see that it doesn't win you prizes every day. Sometimes the Susies of the world are fired, quit, turned down for a promotion, because they refuse to compromise with unethical behavior. Erich has written a number of posts about calling lying what it is , but that doesn't always win you friends. It's callled being "abrasive" or "uncompromising" or "not a team player".
In the long run (and I am old enough to have had a pretty long run), character counts. Erich mentioned having people support him for a position,
"Because they knew from my reputation that I had more integrity than the other person."
Several years ago, Erich and I had worked as partners on a number of grant evaluations, and I was also, on my own, having a lot of success writing grant proposals. A couple of people came to me and told me that I would get more business if I didn't work with Erich, since he had made some political enemies at the time. I just shrugged. Erich and I are friends. He had been a support for me my first year teaching at the tribal college, when my husband died and many times I don't even remember any more. It was an easy decision. If I made $10,000 or so less that year, oh well. In the long run, both Erich and I have made many times that amount. And I have the integrity of a person who does not sell out her friends.
It is not just money. I was thinking of what I might want to do as the next step in my career. My husband said, "Well, what do you like to do the most?"
It occurred to me that what I like to do most is spend time with people I really enjoy and care about. I have a LOT of good relationships, with friends I have known for ten years or more, with my adult children, with my husband. Those relationships are built by perseverance. My children are a journalist, an Olympic athlete, a graduate student at a top university and a middle school student who makes the honor role and is on the student council. As every parent, I have made my share of colossal mistakes. It's not the fact that you screwed up once this week (or today) that is crucial; it is the sum of the thousands of times you put your children first, were honest with them, had the courage to say no, the generosity to give them your time. (Let me add that I have had my days - sometimes years - with each of my children !) It is the perseverance to never give up on them.
That business cliche "at the end of the day" - I hate that. It's not at the end of the day that counts. It's at the end of childhood, career, in the middle of your life, at your 25th anniversary, that's when you can see that ethics wins out.
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