Often, I think the Spirit Lake Consulting courses should be renamed. "Ethics" makes me think of philosophers discussing what Aristotle said about - well, something - I have to admit I never read very far in those discussions.
Character is a better description to me of what the Tribal Leaders Institute is about, doing the right thing every day to the best of our abilities. One "pillar of character" is perseverance. Josephson discusses this under "responsibility".
As a board member, you need a thick skin. The more involved you are on a board, as chair of a committee, on an executive committee or president, the thicker skin you are going to need. It may seem unfair - in fact, it probably IS unfair - that the more work you do the more criticism you will attract. Very, very few decisions will be appreciated by everyone. It may happen that a person has a completely wrong reason for criticizing you. The Director of the After-School program continually came in drunk. Last week, he was found passed out on the floor by two of the kindergarten students. So, you fired him.
Today, everyone is getting a note from a fellow board member saying that you don't care about youth because you have no children of your own, that money only goes to the elder programs because your mother needs assistance, and proof of how uncaring you are is that you cut off $60,000 in funding for the after school program.
The $60,000 happens to be the line item for the director who is the board member's brother. Your only child died seven years ago and your mother is in poor health. How could someone be so hurtful as to bring this up?
When you confront the board member she says,
"I am only telling the community the truth. You did vote for money for more programs for the elderly. I am sure you are concerned about your mother but that doesn't make it okay for you o cut funding for youth programs. Joe being my brother has nothing to do with it. I am just doing my responsibility as a board member to let people know the truth."
How do you deal with situations like this? Four answers that have worked for me:
Character is a better description to me of what the Tribal Leaders Institute is about, doing the right thing every day to the best of our abilities. One "pillar of character" is perseverance. Josephson discusses this under "responsibility".
As a board member, you need a thick skin. The more involved you are on a board, as chair of a committee, on an executive committee or president, the thicker skin you are going to need. It may seem unfair - in fact, it probably IS unfair - that the more work you do the more criticism you will attract. Very, very few decisions will be appreciated by everyone. It may happen that a person has a completely wrong reason for criticizing you. The Director of the After-School program continually came in drunk. Last week, he was found passed out on the floor by two of the kindergarten students. So, you fired him.
Today, everyone is getting a note from a fellow board member saying that you don't care about youth because you have no children of your own, that money only goes to the elder programs because your mother needs assistance, and proof of how uncaring you are is that you cut off $60,000 in funding for the after school program.
The $60,000 happens to be the line item for the director who is the board member's brother. Your only child died seven years ago and your mother is in poor health. How could someone be so hurtful as to bring this up?
When you confront the board member she says,
"I am only telling the community the truth. You did vote for money for more programs for the elderly. I am sure you are concerned about your mother but that doesn't make it okay for you o cut funding for youth programs. Joe being my brother has nothing to do with it. I am just doing my responsibility as a board member to let people know the truth."
How do you deal with situations like this? Four answers that have worked for me:
- Be prepared. Realize this will happen again and again. Persevere. Remind yourself every day that perseverance is needed as a board member.
- Generosity. Try to consider whether the other person does have a point. Do you focus more on elderly programs? Is there a need for more funding for the youth programs? Have they been neglected.
- Don't take anything personally. This is often hard for me, but as I make a deliberate effort at it I am getting better. Those same people who are complaining about your actions would complain if someone else had made the same decision. When people are running you down it says more about them than about you and most people realize that. However, some people will believe the critics. Don't take that personally either.
- Take heart from people who are better than you. This one works for me a lot. I look at people who have survived and excelled in so much greater challenges than I do. Senator Max Cleland is one such example. After losing three limbs during a battle in Vietnam he went on to become a senator and spend a career in public service. Erich often discusses role models in Native American history, such as Sitting Bull. The tribal leaders wiki has articles added on more contemporary leaders, such as Wilma Mankiller. Whether it is President Obama or Tillie Black Bear, most of us don't need to look very far to find someone who has devoted ar more to public service than we have and be far more unfairly criticized. There is value in both learning from those role models how to handle adversity and in realizing how petty our own personal issues usually are.
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