My grandmother used to call them "dichos", that is sayings that you use to teach your children. The most famous "dicho" of all is no doubt the Golden Rule, to do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
The sad truth is that, as a board member, you will often find that people will do unto you things it never would have crossed your mind to have done unto them. It can be a tough world out there. Here are some proverbs that you might want to repeat to yourself often as a board member.
1. You can't please everybody. No matter what you do, how hard working you are, some people will be unhappy with you. We want everyone to love us, or at least like us, or at the very least not hate us. Aint gonna happen. Deal with it.
2. I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
Bill Cosby
Not only can you not please everybody, you shouldn't even try.
{Check out this blog on seven reasons why trying to please everyone ends in failure. }
3. You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it. - Margaret Thatcher
I used to think that the most important virtues were courage and honesty. The longer I have been a board member, the more I am convinced of the need for perseverance. Maybe Dr. Longie is right in this podcast, maybe the most important virtue depends on the situation.
4. Don't take anything personally.
Currently, I am president of a board and there are some people who are constantly criticizing everything I do. These same people criticized the last four or five presidents as well, all of whom were very different from me and very different from one another.
5. Not every difference of opinion is a difference of principle.
Just because someone disagrees with you on an issue doesn't make that person a bad person or your enemy. There probably are some people who are both evil and your enemy, but it certainly isn't everyone who disagrees with you.
6. Do it for the cause, not the applause.
Willie Davis, Spirit Lake Consulting consultant uses this line often to encourage volunteerism. Remember why you are on this board in the first place. You believe in the mission of this organization, that education is important, that this program helps people with disabilities find jobs, or whatever it is that you're doing.
7. Focus on the positive.
While this may sound a bit like something out of a Disney children's movie, it is good advice. With all of the criticism you will get it is sometimes easy to get discouraged. Remind yourself of the good you have done, of the people who are helped by your organization, of the caring volunteers and competent staff members. There is probably a lot of that to focus on. If there really isn't, maybe you are in the wrong organization.
8. Accept failure
I was reading a book today, The Geography of Bliss, by Eric Weiner who was searching for the happiest places in the world. One of them, he says, is Iceland, where some people attribute their happiness to "the willingness to fail". Dysfunctional boards are often comprised of factions looking for the slightest failure to trumpet as proof that their faction should be in charge. If the dominant group changes, there is no real improvement, just a different faction complaining bitterly. Don't let that affect you. Do your best and accept the fact that there will be failures. Try to learn from those and not beat yourself up.
9. When someone is mean to you the real reason is usually envy
A friend of mine told me this was a saying he heard from an excellent pool player but that it turned out to be true 90% of the time whether it was business, boards or billiards. So, see the naysayers what they are, do your best and focus on why you are there in the first place.
The sad truth is that, as a board member, you will often find that people will do unto you things it never would have crossed your mind to have done unto them. It can be a tough world out there. Here are some proverbs that you might want to repeat to yourself often as a board member.
1. You can't please everybody. No matter what you do, how hard working you are, some people will be unhappy with you. We want everyone to love us, or at least like us, or at the very least not hate us. Aint gonna happen. Deal with it.
2. I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
Bill Cosby
Not only can you not please everybody, you shouldn't even try.
{Check out this blog on seven reasons why trying to please everyone ends in failure. }
3. You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it. - Margaret Thatcher
I used to think that the most important virtues were courage and honesty. The longer I have been a board member, the more I am convinced of the need for perseverance. Maybe Dr. Longie is right in this podcast, maybe the most important virtue depends on the situation.
4. Don't take anything personally.
Currently, I am president of a board and there are some people who are constantly criticizing everything I do. These same people criticized the last four or five presidents as well, all of whom were very different from me and very different from one another.
5. Not every difference of opinion is a difference of principle.
Just because someone disagrees with you on an issue doesn't make that person a bad person or your enemy. There probably are some people who are both evil and your enemy, but it certainly isn't everyone who disagrees with you.
6. Do it for the cause, not the applause.
Willie Davis, Spirit Lake Consulting consultant uses this line often to encourage volunteerism. Remember why you are on this board in the first place. You believe in the mission of this organization, that education is important, that this program helps people with disabilities find jobs, or whatever it is that you're doing.
7. Focus on the positive.
While this may sound a bit like something out of a Disney children's movie, it is good advice. With all of the criticism you will get it is sometimes easy to get discouraged. Remind yourself of the good you have done, of the people who are helped by your organization, of the caring volunteers and competent staff members. There is probably a lot of that to focus on. If there really isn't, maybe you are in the wrong organization.
8. Accept failure
I was reading a book today, The Geography of Bliss, by Eric Weiner who was searching for the happiest places in the world. One of them, he says, is Iceland, where some people attribute their happiness to "the willingness to fail". Dysfunctional boards are often comprised of factions looking for the slightest failure to trumpet as proof that their faction should be in charge. If the dominant group changes, there is no real improvement, just a different faction complaining bitterly. Don't let that affect you. Do your best and accept the fact that there will be failures. Try to learn from those and not beat yourself up.
9. When someone is mean to you the real reason is usually envy
A friend of mine told me this was a saying he heard from an excellent pool player but that it turned out to be true 90% of the time whether it was business, boards or billiards. So, see the naysayers what they are, do your best and focus on why you are there in the first place.