DISABILITY ACCESS - Coping with Diagnosis

Original materials below are reproduced from Coping.org, a Public Service of James J. Messina, Ph.D. & Constance M. Messina, Ph.D., 6319 Chauncy Street, Tampa, FL 33647 Email: jjmess@tampabay.rr.com ©1999-2004 James J. Messina, Ph.D. & Constance Messina, Ph.D.

HANDLING THE SHOCK OF DIAGNOSIS

A. Typical Responses to the Diagnosis:
Do you remember how you immediately felt after you were told what type of disability or special need your child had? Where were you? How were you told? How did you react.

Consider the following questions that parents ask after their children have been diagnosed as having a disability and see how many you had:

What is the cause of our child's developmental problem or disability?
Could this disability have been prevented?Did something go wrong during the pregnancy or delivery to cause this problem?
Did the doctors do something to cause this problem? Did they leave something undone?
Which of us parents was responsible for this problem? Was it one of our faults? Are we responsible for our child having this problem?
What did we do wrong to deserve this?
Can this disability be ''cured''? Will my child grow out of it?
Why did this have to happen to us?
How severely handicapped will my child be?
Is it safe to have another child

Does the genetic background of one parent contribute more to the disability than that of the other?

I cannot help but pity my child. Is this wrong?
If our child with this special need lives at home, how will it affect our normal children?
How can we explain the disability to our other children?
How can we explain our child's disability to relatives, friends, and neighbors?
How can I deal with others' reactions to my child's disability?
Should we belong to a some organization? What are the advantages of belonging to a parent group? Are there parent organizations address our concerns?
Will I always have to be so involved in my child's care?
Do I have to change my goals in life because of my child's problem?
What are the chances of my child going to college or getting a job later on in life?
What programs, schools, specialists are available to help my child?
Will we ever be able to have a normal life again?
What happens if we precede our child in death? Who will care for him?

How well have you been able to get your questions answered? It is important for you to fully explore these questions with the professionals involved in your children's care. Do not stop asking questions until you have a full understanding of what your children's special needs are and what needs to be done to assist your children reach their optimal potential.

Go to next page, parent awareness

WHEN YOU LEARN A FAMILY MEMBER HAS A DISABILITY...