DOMESTIC VIOLENCE : DO'S and DON'TS
DO give them the courage to try again. If a woman reports violence, take it seriously.
DON'T in any way imply that it was her fault, that she must have done something to deserve it or that it is not as bad as she thinks. For women with low self-esteem, for women who are not very verbal - and this describes a much greater proportion of women with disabilities than the general population - it was very hard for them to speak up. Don't make it harder this time, or the next time, by not listening. If they do drop the charges (remember, the average woman leaves eight times before she gets out permanently) do not let her completely see your frustration. Tell her that if she changes her mind and wants to try again she can always come back to you for help.
DO ask point-blank if you suspect domestic violence. "Does your boyfriend hit you?" Nurses dealing with pregnant women are encouraged to ask as part of prenatal exam. There are two reasons. One is, bad as it sounds, pregnant women are at increased risk of abuse. Two, nurses are usually women and a woman is more likely to tell another woman than a man.
Call for help
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The Victim's Assistance Program at Fort Totten is located in the basement of the Tribal Administration Building (Blue Building). Their phone number is (701) 766- 1816 . Crisis line that is staffed after hours, weekends and holidays. After hours, the office number just rolls into the crisis line. They are totally funded on grant money, so there is no cost to the clients. All of the services are free. |
They have two advocates that work with victims of crime, mostly family violence. This does not have to be your intimate partner, it can be anyone who lives with you, an adult child, a cousin.
Some people who work with the Victim's Assistance Program don't want to work with the police, and that is okay with them, as long as a child is not involved. If there is a case of child abuse, they are legally required to report it. However, most of their work involves violence between adults. Victims can choose to work with the Victim's Assistance Program and involve the police or not at their own choosing. According to Linda Thompson of the Spirit Lake Nation Victim's Assistance Program,
"All that is important to us is that people get the help they need."
A local program that referred to them gave Victim's Assistance a positive reference, noting that the woman was able to have the cost of a hotel room paid by the program so she could leave the home where the abuse was occurring.
Note: Although most of their work involves family violence they also help DUI crash survivors and elder abuse survivors. They do educational programs as well, explaining the legal definition of violence, effects on children and the options for getting out of a violent situation.