Traditional Views on Family Care and Self-Care for Disabled and/or Special Needs Members
CHIPPEWA/OJIBWA & GREAT PLAINS TRIBAL VIEWS - Modesty

Next I would like to discuss modesty. In discussing care for oneself (later years in life) if the inability presented itself, due to accident, stroke or other cause.   One elder commented, that she would feel uncomfortable with a total stranger dressing or assisting them with these aspects of life and would hope that her sister or other female relative would come to her aid if the need arose. She went onto say that's probably why most spouses do not live much longer after their significant other dies. This value of modesty is expressed in different ways by different tribal members, but it is a frequent consideration, as you can see in reading our section on "Staying Independent" in adulthood.

     Most tribal members are reluctant to ask for help and in some cases may hurt themselves by not asking. In this case, their modesty may be impeding their judgment or thinking, especially if they have special needs due to disability or age. If a family was to require long-term related living care, there is no discussion about putting this person in a home or facility. It is my belief that it is time for a major change in community understanding of persons with disabilities. Even those with severe independent living challenges should have the option to make their own life decisions, as well as that of housing options. With the development of a Community Living Facility in our reservations, then the parent and/or caregiver will be able to maintain contact and involvement in care of services for their disabled or special needs person, including, day to day communication on routines of family members. I recognize this is not an easy task. To provide assisted or independent living services you need to be a significant part of our families, you have to build up trust before you can be accepted into the community. Still, this is a needed new direction and those providing services will need to understand our cultural views.

     For many of us modesty takes on different forms. Some forms can be cross-cultural. For example, most of us would not walk around in public in our birthday suit or go to a nude beach. This mainstream form of modesty has more to do with external aspects than internal and views or perceptions we have or others have of us. Whereas, most Native Americans or tribal members I know are more affected by the former. They are less likely to take the credit or acknowledgement for a good deed or life-changing role in helping someone. As a result, the importance of family members in caring for an individual with a disability may be unrecognized.

     In summary,  the care and welfare of their children, including those adults with disabilities or special needs is a role that our community attaches to families. In particular those female family members see this as a commitment and responsibility for life. For example, when it comes to helping those who cannot care for themselves, families take on this role and with the help of their immediate/extended family members support. While the quantity and quality of care provided to some people with disabilities in our community is a wonderful thing, we need to also give our relatives wings by encouraging them to start learning to care for themselves. For many people, this is a a new perspective.