Some parents do not force their children to go to school, don't force them to do chores, either because they want to be their child's friend, they don't want to see their child unhappy or they think their child has a hard enough time already having a disability so they don't want to add another burden on top of that. You are not doing your child a favor. Many of the generation in their forties and fifiies will remember the teachers we used to get in the reservation schools who wanted to 'rescue' the Indians. They would give everyone A's, not force anyone to do homework or study because they felt sorry for us. They were not good teachers. They thought they were, but they weren't. In fact, they were horrible teachers and their students were the worse for it because they didn't learn anything. Parents who are being their child's friend need to believe that putting their child on the bus, making their child go to bed on time and all the other traits of learning a working life-style are all part of being a good parent.
How do you make your child do these things? Simple. If you tell your child to go to bed, and she doesn't, after the second time, pick her up, carry her into her bedroom and set her on the bed. Then walk out.
Other parents cause problems in their child through abuse, domestic violence or alcoholism. If a child is in a home where the parents do not get up and make him go to school because they are too hung-over or strung out from pills, then that child is going to have problems. All of the behavior plans and psychological theories are no substitute for having a functional home.
Nearly every research article on domestic violence, child abuse and alcoholism mentions the denial that is common in these homes. Parents need to take an honest look at themselves and their homes. If your husband or wife is an alcoholic, no matter how good of a parent you try to be, no matter how many workshops you attend, there will be an effect on your child of living in a home where rules are enforced or not depending on how much a parent had to drink. We know it probably won't win us any friends saying this, but it is a fact that needs to be faced.
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