Having three children, aged 11, 12 and 15 years when my newest baby was born has given me grave concern about any child born to an adolescent mother. My children are as good as can reasonably be expected, and, yet, not one of them can manage to take care of the baby for more than a couple of hours without calling me, wherever I might happen to be, to "COME TAKE THIS BABY"!
Emotionally, the average adolescent is just developing an identity, figuring out what he or she wants to do in life, what values are important, and so on. Being prepared to pass on those values to another person is a developmental task that usually comes much later in life. The maturity to put someone else's needs before your own, to control your temper, to plan ahead to be sure that whatever the baby might need is provided -- all of these characteristics develop throughout adolescence and early adulthood. My children frequently whine,
"Why can't she just be quiet?"
None of them have ever actually physically abused the baby, but they have stalked into my room in tears, plopped Julia on the bed and burst out,
"I can't take it any more! I fed her, changed her, gave her a bath, walked her, and she just won't stop crying!"
In addition to emotional immaturity, including frustration tolerance, patience and all of those other qualities which are supposed to improve with age, adolescents also have to cope with lack of experience and cognitive immaturity. An adult might have thought of a few other possibilities, such as putting orajel on her for teething, putting her in her swing (maybe she's tired and can't get to sleep), etc. When I see the difficulty my children have coping with a baby, and they only have to deal with her for a few hours at a time, with no other problems in their lives, then I really fear for the children of the average teenage mother.
Of course, not every teenage mother abuses her child. Fortunately, many of them have someone, whether it is the baby's father, grandparent, preschool teacher or neighbor, there when they need someone to TAKE THIS BABY!
Is providing occasional babysitting services enough to prevent abuse? Maybe in some cases. It is at least a start. Other resources for young mothers include Even Start, Early Childhood Tracking, Infant Development Program and respite care services. All of the programs just mentioned can help young mothers with the other risk factors, social support, learning about child development and learning to understand and care for a young child with special needs.
NEXT: Common Reservation Disability Questions: I. Fetal Alcohol Syndrome