Okay, I admit it. I live in Santa Monica, on the westside of Los Angeles, which anyone who lives here knows is a synonym for 'yuppie'. People make fun of Westside moms for organizing their toddlers' lives, for making play dates on their cell phones and having their children in dance lessons at 3 p.m., swim classes at 4 and karate at 5. There is some truth in those stereotypes but there is also some method to our madness.
If your child has trouble making friends, you can help by arranging visits where your child will play with other children one on one or in small groups. My daughter, Julia, shown at left, has a couple of friends with special needs. In fact, she is their only friend, according to their parents. She is strong enough that if another child tries to bully her she will tell him, "Don't do that, I don't like it." If he tries to take away her toy, she will pull the toy back and give him a nasty look, not smack him on the head with it. Or, she may come up with a good solution,
"If you want to fight, let's put on my cousin's karate gear and have a play fight. Do you want to?"
The more activities in which your child is involved, the more likely he or she is to find a tolerant friend like Julia. If your reservation offers t-ball, Parent-Child activities through Head Start or Even Start, activities at the Boys and Girls Club - take your child to try it out. Remember that cousin or high school friend who has a child about your son's age, the one you keep meaning to call? Call her up. Suggest you get together at your house, or at McDonalds, with the kids.
Another possibility is to teach other children - children of your friends, neighbors and relatives, or your child's brothers and sisters - how to be a helpful friend to your child with special needs.