The Great Plains tribes are known for their gentle means of child-rearing. Children are considered sacred and the boot-camp demands placed upon children in places such as the old Indian boarding schools are shocking to many Native American parents.
Still, no matter how indulgent and easy-going of a parent you are, there are some times when you will insist that your child do what you say - wearing gloves outside in the winter, not eating pieces of string he pulled out of the carpet, not pulling his sister's hair.
What do you do when he just doesn't mind?
One experienced teacher had this to say,
"The first thing I do is make sure the child can hear me. The second thing I do is make sure he understands. I have worked with children who have had many kinds of disabilities, from hearing impairment to attention problems to mental retardation. If the child seems lost in his own little world and never listens to you, have his hearing checked. Deafness and hearing impairment are not very common disabilities but these do occur and they occur more often on the reservations due to a higher number of middle ear infections.
Attention Deficit Disorder and Learning Disabilities are much more common than deafness. I have often found that a child disobeys not because he is hearing impaired but he simply did not notice what I was saying. Take this example, remember a time you were really, really angry with someone. Come on, don't pretend it never happened. If the TV or radio was on, I'll bet you did not hear a word that was being said by the program, no matter how loud it was turned up. It is the same with a child with ADD. He is paying attention to whatever has caught his interest at the moment. It may be the piece of string from the rug or his sister screaming. "
What do you do? Make sure you have the child's attention. Some parents do this by shouting or screaming the child's name (oh, come on, we have all done that). This startles the child and makes him turn his attention to you, most of the time, anyway. We do know parents that this is their way of capturing their child's attention and it does not bother the parents. They say that as long as you don't get angry and both you and the child understand that you are doing it just to get their attention, it works for them. We are not convinced that hollering at your child is the best way to get attention, particularly because we have seen many, many children over the years learn to just tune their parents out.
NEXT: Five ways to capture your child's attention