3. Think of 'triggers' that set off behavior problems in your child. Common ones are too much noise, crowds and too many distractions. When she feels overwhelmed by too much happening, a child may engaged in stereotypical behavior such as rocking back and forth or waving her fingers in front of her eyes repeatedly. Children with disabilities such as autism may be highly sensitive to texture and refuse to wear certain clothes. That cute little patch of Donald Duck sewn on to that shirt may really bother a child who is hypersensitive to touch. No matter how cute she looks in it, if she screams when you make her wear it, return the shirt. There may be a neighbor or relative that your child simply cannot get along with. Instead of trying to force her to be nice to her cousin, Jared, simply don't go over to Jared's house with your daughter along if you can avoid it.
4. Teach your child how to act appropriately before problems happen. We discussed a little about making friends in an earlier section. Children love to pretend, especially if it means getting attention from an adult. Act out playing with other children,
"Okay, I'll pretend I am your sister. Now, when I say, 'Jordan, I want to play with the ball. Give me the ball.' What do you do?"
If the child hits at you or yells, "NO!" this is your chance to correct him without either of you getting upset.
"Okay, now I am sad. Look at my sad face," (mother makes a horrible face), "No hitting. No screaming. Understand? Try this. Try saying, 'It's my turn now. You play with it later.'"
As your child gets older, help him with problem-solving. Ask questions like,
"What do you think will happen if you hit Lily with the ball? What could you do if you both want to play with it?"
Click here for several pages of recommendations on why behavior problems occur and how to avoid these, from our Family Life & Disability Workshop.
NEXT: In each of our workshops we try to address one or two disabilities that are common on the reservations. In the next few pages, we discuss the growing rate of autism and behavior problems.