Most children who are disabled do not have severe disabilities such as visual impairment, mental retardation or missing limbs. Far more common are milder disabilities, such as Attention Deficit Disorder, Learning Disabilities and developmental delay. You will find that the strategies that work with other children are likely to be effective for your child with a disability, you just may need to use these more often or to a later age than you would with a child without a disability.
1. Touch your child on the shoulder and when he looks up at you, tell him what it is you want him to do. We don't mean grab him by the shoulder in some kind of Vulcan death grip. Sorry, we don't mean to be rude, but unless you are inhumanly perfect, it is tempting to do that when your child is ignoring you. Also, we recommend this when you want his attention for good things, too, like time to go visit his cousins or a snack is on the table. The last thing you want is your child always associating your touch with something bad.
2. Kneel down directly in front of your child, eye level, look into his eyes and say what it is you want him to do in a firm, not loud, voice.
3. Pick him up, put him on your lap and then tell him what you want him to do.
4. Use a signal, such as snapping your fingers or waving in front of his face. Many teachers who have a class full of children will turn the lights on and off to get the child's attention. We haven't tried that at home, but you could. Let us know if it works for you.
5. If the child is having a tantrum on the floor, sit down next to him and speak to him softly about what is upsetting him. While we have seen some parents look at us skeptically when we suggest this, mostly those parents of the old school, 'I would whack him on the bottom', please think of it another way. Think about a time when you were really upset. You found out your boyfriend was cheating on you, just lost a job or were told you had to move out of your apartment. Now imagine someone came in at that point and ordered you to get up and wash the dishes in the kitchen. How would you feel about that person? How likely would it be that you would actually wash the dishes? And it doesn't make any difference if you were being kicked out of your apartment because you hadn't paid the rent or lost your job for missing work. The fact is, you were upset. Your child is a person, too. Handle whatever he is upset about first, then have him put on his snowsuit.
For more ways to capture a child's attention, click here to read some of the creative solutions from participants on our Spirit Lake Forum .
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