Dr. Erich Longie
The year following my son’s untimely death was the toughest year of my life. The number of times I missed my son and cried is beyond counting. The first several weeks were the toughest of all. I never realized a person could experience such emotional pain and live. Then a strange thing happened. Almost over night, the extreme emotional pain subsided and I was left with a dull, constant ache in my heart. I believe the Creator, hearing all the prayers of my relatives and friends took pity on me and granted me relief from the most extreme emotional pain I have ever suffered.
The first couple of weeks I felt so helpless I almost went crazy. As with most parents, I am as courageous as a female grizzly bear is when defending her young. Every time one of my children was in trouble, I did whatever I had to protect them. I like to think I am a creative person, and it was this creativity that always enabled me to either lessen the consequences my children would have had to face or alleviate them all together. However, no matter how I tried there was nothing I could think of doing that would bring my son back. It didn’t matter how smart I thought I was, how courageous I was; I realized absolutely nothing I did would bring him back and that knowledge almost drove me crazy. This was compounded by the fact I did not know what the Spirit World was really like. Did he have enough to eat? Was he happy? Was he safe? These thoughts tormented me for several weeks.
I also became very frustrated with family members and friends. They meant well when they told me I had to move on or
“You have to let him go now,”
or, most often,
“He is in a better place and he wants you to be happy.”
I thought,
“How would Joel feel if I decided to move on or let him go?”
Moreover, I was not sure he was in a better place because how could any other place be better than here beside me? Regardless of what anyone told me or what they thought, I had already made up my mind that I would grieve for my son until I went to the Spirit World.
Next, grieving and youth